And I Get Two Thumbs Up!

When I sat down to write a blog, I was planning on bitching about the fact that my research advisor is 'advising' me to start my entire project over again. But shit happens. I'll deal. Who cares if the last three months of research are being erased? This is an opportunity some would kill for.

As I sit here in my green striped bathrobe and my wet hair wrapped up in a towel I feel determined. I am determined not to let my parents down, or Trish and Melissa, or my other friends who expect friendship and trust from me, or Tony, or myself. Especially not myself. I may have high expectations of myself, but I think it's because I know that deep down, I can do it. I'm just too lazy to put in the work. I don't have enough internal motivation or self-control to reach those goals. It's because I am afraid of failing. And I couldn't bear to let myself down.

Surprisingly I have kept most of my resolutions so far. I'm going into the lab more (not that it's helping my project, but STILL, it's gotta count for something!), going to the gym about four times a week, limiting my carb and fat intakes (until my Daddy's stew....oh stew, how I love you), sleeping more...poor Tony got stuck with me for two nights because I was too lazy to leave his bed. Except to eat. So, so far this year I am proud of myself.

I hope that doesn't change.