Proactiv Is The One For You!

Dear Aaron and Nick Carter,

You should not be making a reality show. Your careers are O-V-E-R. Accept it. Aaron, I don't think you ever really had a career to begin with. I am 99% sure that both of you are mentally challenged and the most idiotic people on television.

Oh, and you're both hideously ugly. Get some acne products. Immediately.

Love,
Me

Dear Roommate,

You really really annoy me. I wish you would just be quiet for like, five minutes. No, I do not know what is going on in the show because I started watching it at the same time as you. I am not a secret TV psychic and do not know all the innerworkings of EVERY TV show on right now. Maybe if you shut up and listened then you'd know what is going on. Also, your boyfriend is way too old for you. It's fucking creepy.

Oh, and your room smells kinda funny. Maybe you should take care of that.

Love,
Me


Dear Evil Spawn,

Please stop putting my best friend in an awkward position of making her choose between us. You broke up with me. Clearly she will pick me. Sorry, but she's not really your friend, just a work acquaintance. But you can continue sucking up to her because it really amuses us.

Love,
Me


Dear PostSecret,

You are amazing in every way. And I love you.

Love,
Me


Dear Julie,

I sincerely hope that you can pull through and get better. My thoughts are with you.

Jaime


p.s. Sorry for stealing your little "Dear *insert name here*" thing Emily. But I love it!