Suddenly I See Why The Hell It Means So Much To Me

The first day of school is today, and I can't sleep. I am too excited, nervous, scared and sad to sleep. There are so many memories and thoughts...I didn't even know I remembered some of this stuff. I remember when four years felt like an eternity. I thought I would never get through it and end up as a vagabond (that was for you Melissa) in Union Station with a sign that says, "Will Dance For Crack". However, it looks like I'm going to get that damn piece of paper. I will be a scientist...a biologist more specifically. It sounds so grown up. I don't want to grow up, but we've all established that. I want to slow down time and savour every minute...every second. Where did the last three years go? They were pretty awesome. I always rolled my eyes whenever someone would say, "You won't even recognize yourself after University, they really are the best years of your life." I understand them now. I'm not even done University and I am so different from the person I used to be.

I used to hate change. I wanted everything to be the same. I've outgrown that mentality now, maybe because I've changed. I realized that it's ok to not know what I want to do for the rest of my life right out of university. Almost nobody knows. It's ok if I want to take a semester off before doing Master's to work and travel. If I don't travel now when the hell am I going to? And I've wanted to go to Europe for as long as I can remember. I will regret it if I don't go, even if it's by myself, I'm going. I never would have done that before.

The best memories I have are of Melissa and I at home. I know, I'm such a loser (maybe that's why I have no stories). We honestly have the best time sitting around doing nothing. That girl can make me laugh so hard I can't breathe. I almost killed her when she had bronchitis and was making her laugh. But it only made us laugh harder. I can still picture her quite clearly curled up on my bed, coughing, laughing, crying and pounding the bed with her fist at the same time. I think she was trying to tell me not to make her laugh...oops. I could not have asked for a better housemate. The more time we spend together the better we get along. I only have one class with her this semester...I will definitely be suffering from separation anxiety. How will I ever survive without her there to bail me out? I'm pretty sure she's the only reason I am still in school. As a housemate, she's seen me at my worst (no make-up anyone? hello, it's not pretty). She knows when I want to be left alone and when I don't. She hates people just as much as I do. Most people bond over the stuff they like....we bonded over the stuff we hate. Sounds weird, but it works for us. I don't know how I'll live alone/without her after this year. We have a new roommate this year, and I'm super excited about it. She seems really nice and friendly. Hopefully it will work out alright.

The most valuble lessons that I've learned at school are not the ones in the classroom, although those ARE important for life. But really, how many times do I need to be taught about PCR, seriously people, it's not that difficult. I've learned more about myself this past year than I could ever have imagined. If I didn't have my friends there supporting me I probably would have fallen apart. I've learned what a true friend is to me now and why I appreciate them. A true friend is the one who sits with you in the bathroom while you're drunk, missing the party and holding your hair back while you're being sick and saying that they don't mind at all. And you know that they don't. They will also agree with you when you say you're not that drunk, but they know that you are. They are just as happy as you when you get good news, and are possibly even more upset when something bad happens because it kills them to see you hurt/sad. They freak out as much as you do when the sketchiest thing EVER happens (you know what I'm talking about). You can get in a fight and bounce back stronger than before because you're both more honest with each other. They understand everything you are thinking just from a look across the room, because they are probably thinking the EXACT same thing. Nothing makes me happier than when Melissa physically attacks me after not seeing me for two days because she missed me, or hearing Trish call me a slut. I used to be pretty cavalier about some friends...letting them drift. I figured that people change and grow apart...which is true. But sometimes it doesn't have to happen. I won't let it happen to the friends that I love and need. I've sworn that I will put the effort in. Some friends have drifted this year in some ways, but we still remain close. I love that we can pick up where we left off and still appreciate each other.

This school year is starting with a lot of changes in my life. One I'm really happy about, but I don't want to jinx it. I think it will be an awesome experience that is needed in my life. It will be good for me. I think I will finally get what I want and need at the same time. All it took to make my decision was the words, "I'll wait for you", a stuffed turtle and some apple pie. Sometimes pie really does hold all the answers.

I can't wait for this year. I am going to try and appreciate every minute.