I am exhausted. I am stressed. I feel like I'm getting nowhere in life. No matter how much work I do, it feels as though I have barely made a dent. It's the first week of school. Why do I feel like there is so much to do?
I always start out the school year in the opposite way. Totally and completely relaxed. Not caring a bit. Then when midterms rape me in a back alley and steal my wallet I finally get my ass in gear. Maybe it's because...this is it. The last chance for me to prove myself. Prove myself to who you ask? To me. I don't care what anyone else thinks at this point. I just want to know that I can do it. But at what cost? My physical health.......my emotional health? My social life? My friendships and relationships? None of that should have to suffer so that I can feel accomplished academically. Yet...it is. Especially my health.
I need to find a balance. I need time for myself, to do schoolwork, go to the gym, eat, sleep, be with my friends, spend some time with the family. How do I fit all of this into my life? How do those crazy people who have five jobs, are on sports teams, get 95s' and still manage to have a social life do it? I will NEVER be one of those people. I like to have time to myself WAY too much. Oh why am I such a hermit? I have always been horrible at time management. For example, I could be at the gym right now.....but instead I am writing a blog. Good use of time Jaime...A+!!
Lately I feel as though I am being pulled in so many different directions. My sanity is definitely suffering. I get yelled at for going to visit friends in waterloo, I feel guilty for spending time by myself, not doing homework is basically a sin right now to me (not that I even have that much, two of my classes are useless). Why do I have to do what everybody else wants me to do? Pretty sure I should be able to go wherever I want without feeling guilty. Or is that not allowed now either?
All I know is that I'm going to start doing what is best for me and if people can't handle that...then they didn't care that much in the first place.
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2 comments:
Don't make yourself feel guilty for your inability to slow down time and be in multiple places at once (none of us can!) I tend to feel overwhelmed a lot too and all we can do is try to maintain an equilibrium of sorts and do what makes us happy.
Smile :)
Dear Lover,
Never feel that any of us are pressuring you to be in certain places at certain times... You know that all I have ever wanted for you is to be happy.
I go through the same thing periodically. In fact I'm going through it right now and it blows.
We all just need to breathe. And look at the big picture. It sucks, but it's going to be so worth it in the end.
Keep smiling sexy girl.
And NEVER ever feel guilty for coming to Waterloo. You know you are like family.
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