I cried a lot during Grey's Anatomy tonight. I tend to get over emotional when I spend a lot of time by myself. And lately I've been spending a lot of time by myself.

I don't know whether it's by choice or if I've just been forgotten.

Or maybe I've finally pushed people away so much that they don't want me there anymore. It wouldn't surprise me. I get into my little routines. The more time I spend alone, the deeper into the routine I get. And the harder it is for me to get out of the routine.

Did you notice that I wasn't there?

Most of the time I don't want to be noticed. But sometimes I wish I was noticed more.