20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity:
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses On And Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries With That.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favours"
7. Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't Use Any Punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water Whenever You Go Out To Eat...With A Serious Face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-Through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along...At The Opera
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM Scream, "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo Start Running Towards The Parking Lot Yelling, "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. When reading a fortune cookie end it with "in bed".
As you can see, I've already obtained that level of insanity you are all aspiring to reach. I wish you the best of luck.
2 comments:
you forgot to mention that without your loving roomate to feed you these useful tidbits of information you would have nothing to write about. i expect payment in the form of sexual favours as usual. in accordance with the prophecy.
These should be the new rules of life. I'm SO donna start doing the "For Sexual Favours" thing a the bottom of all my checks except different every time... like "Illegal Immigrant Fund" or "Thanks for the Money Laundring Tips!"
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