Hello, My Name Is...

I've always been a worrier. Just like my Daddy.

I'm impatient like my Mom.

I have my mom's nose and hands (mismatched in size and very large), but I have my Daddy's eyes and ears.

I'm paranoid and hesitant like my Aunt. My hair is thick, just like hers.

I sit with one leg bent underneath me like my Grandpa.

I love Blueberry pie and spontaneously baking things like my Gran.

I enjoy being with friends like my Grandma. She loves her rum and cokes.

I like being alone. Just like my Daddy.


But what defines me? What makes me who I am? The combination of these traits...these preferences that I have in life for blueberry pie and sitting with a bent leg? My annoying habit of worrying about things that could never EVER possibly happen or never being able to sit still while waiting for something in my life? Is it my hatred for tomatoes, love of cupcakes, tendancy to cry in movies even though I know what happens, re-read books a thousand times, listen to one song over and over again until I can't stand it anymore.

Do these little quirks make us who we are? This can't be it, there has to be at least a hundred other people who like/dislike the same things that I do, but we're not the same people. Not at all.

Oddly enough this doesn't worry me. Not knowing who I am. I have no calling to go and travel the world in search of myself. Oh sure, I want to travel, but do I think I'll find out who I am in Italy or France or if i'm lucky Egypt? Definitely not. I know what makes me happy and what doesn't. I let other people know too. I'm stubborn and annoying and loud but oddly shy, I enjoy giving people the silent treatment if they piss me off. I can't put up with other people's messes, but can't help making my own.

But I'm also caring, and willing to listen. I'm not generally a bad person even though I don't wish some people well. Sometimes they deserve it. I would willing drive all night to see a friend in need, just like I know my friends would do for me. I support my friends even if I don't agree with their decisions, and I never want to be one of those people who tries to make everybody think the way that I do. Half the fun is arguing with people. I hate it when people mess with my heart. That is unforgiveable. I try not to do the same to others, but I know that I have. And I'm sorry for that, but I don't expect to be forgiven. I don't believe in emotional games and playing hard to get. I am impatient to the point of being obnoxious and I want what I want, when I want it.

Maybe this means I already know who I am.